Gifts for the Queen (of Bedtime)

Bedtime has always been a bit of challenge in our household – okay, for Jack. Jack is a good sleeper, just not so good at going to bed. He will sleep 10-12 hours easily, but since he was a tiny baby falling asleep has been his least favorite activity. In fact, going to bed is the worse punishment imaginable for Jack.

Lately, he has gotten very creative in his approach to postponing going to bed. And, to frustrate his parents even more, he now has a sleep dodging side kick – Nate.

So, to give you an idea of what we’re up against, I, the Queen of Bedtime, will tell you the tale of the Knights of Owlwood Drive.

First, I must preface this tale with a parenting disclaimer. My little guys are very busy. We are not a coach potato family and according to our pediatricians and countless parenting sources, all three of the boys should be exhausted and ready for sleep by 8 p.m.

Each night the Knights start out with a traditional approach to prolonging their day. For decades, maybe even centuries, children have asked for water, snacks, and made extra trips to the bathroom. So, after shuffling through “small” cups of water, a reminder that they had a snack already and final tinkle for the day, the boys and I knelt down for prayers. At this time Jack, remembers every person in his life by name, he thanks God for the ice cream party at school, for his barn and a myriad of other memories from the day. He insists on extra prayer time for the sick – namely, friend and neighbor Maddie who was home from school sick that day. As a mother, it’s really hard to argue with or rush prayers, so we pray as long as things are sensible.

One duck, one bunny, two blankies, and all three boys were in now in bed. The bathroom light was on as promised, and I finally settled into bed with a really great book, but the Knights were on a crusade.

First Jack politely inquired if I need a back rub. Nice try. Good night Jack. Back to bed. Off he storms.

Next he is convinced he has not eaten in “fifty years.” -- this a very long time for a five year old. Since, I am certain he is not in danger of malnutrition he is ushered back to bed.

Within minutes Jack and Nate are beside my bed (with their bathrobes on no less) each holding a framed picture of themselves as infants.

“Here mom, these are for you,” they impishly chime.

“How sweet. Thank you. Now, off to bed,” I kindly command, from behind my book.

And so, for several minutes, they each took turns presenting me with a variety of gifts or bribes depending on how you look at it. Since they are only 5 and 3 and were not about to venture into the darken rooms of the house, my gifts were limited to whatever they could find in their room or the bathroom. I was given a tooth brush (not my own), a towel, a t-ball trophy, an engraved baby cup, some baby lotion, a few stuffed animals, comb, and several other items I can’t recall. When I finally put an end to the gift giving, I had accumulated a considerable collection of items at the foot of my bed.

And so the Knights won. I put down the book. Patted the bed and turned out the light as Sir Nathan and Sir Jackson climbed into bed to cuddle. With in minutes they were sound asleep. Apparently, being crusaders is extremely tiring.